All dark windows, no clocks, and happy drunk faces.
I have a chance of winning more money in one pull of a slot than I do all day here.
There would always be fresh, non-vended food is an easy to manage buffet style setup.
Shrimp, all you CAN eat shrimp!!!
Everyday could be CARNIVAL!
Scantily clad nubile bodies and not sweaty depressing tech zombies cracked out on Dr. Pepper and Funyons.
I would say “readily available weed”, but this is tech support, that already happens here. Maybe more appropriately, I would enjoy my job and the vending machine food would entice me more.
Prostitutes. Real honest to goodness hookers. Not just managers getting on their knees for free.
Non-stop drink service for free.
Bonuses for just showing up. Double bonuses on Seniors’ Day.
No animals allowed. Come on, right now I work one step above monkeys. Nah, monkeys are better behaved in captivity, even when rabid.
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