What I Learned

Tattoos

Slipped disks

Seepage

‘This is your new tool. Answer: “You’re a new tool.”

Shooting, Suicide, Hunting, Hammer Induced Head Trauma, Cannibals, Holocausts, Gun Caliber Sizes and Home Invasions are not topics that should be discussed in training. Even when the trainer is the main participant.

Why do guys have this fascination with American Psycho? I think I am starting to judge people by if they like it or not. And if you bitch about it, let me state for the record, Christian Bale sux.I really hate that the summer is coming. Do you have any idea what 150 trolls in one hot room smells like? If not, for the sake of the children, don’t come to a computer store in Arizona in the summer. There is no amount of cooling that can fend off the after effects of Axe Body Spray and Cheese Steak.

Being a computer nerd and seeing Click, I find myself disillusioned. I want a remote that speeds up time and mutes people. And damnit, I was promised a flying car. I see no flying cars.

“If you want it both ways, you have to suck it up.”

Why does the term “Secret Word’ sound so dirty? It was really gross to hear that come out of Banjo Boy.

I found out Banjo Boy’s initials were B.J., he didn’t like having me giggle in front of the class. Everytime that he would say “Tool”, I would giggle and say under my breath, “You’re a tool.” It kept me amused for the day.

The most stupid argument I have heard today:

2010 being stated as year “o-10” and not Zero Ten or just Ten. Then it devolved into you can’t call 2009, “o-9”. The argument lasted for ten minutes. I want my ten minutes back. Here is what I could have been doing with my time: Ice Sculpting, Gyno Exam, Cure Cancer, Cause Cancer or Club a Baby Seal.

Why do men think they are “hotter”, and act like a total cock rocket when they are already balding and shave their head? What’s worse are the guys that aren’t going bald doing the same exact thing. Tools, they are all Tools.