If you don't live in AZ, you don't get to expreince the most vial of AZ traditions, the negative ad campaigns.
Hey Ann Kirkpatrick, you're a bitch.
Oh and Harry Mitchell, you come off being a bitch too. David Schweikert, yeah, he went and made a buttload of money on the foreclosure deal. So what, I am glad someone took them off the banks hands so that it doesn't tank that industry too. He is about to lose his ass on those same houses though, the market is dropping again. You ad was mean and nasty. You could acheive more with positive....hahah who am I kidding, this is AZ, we don't know how to play nice or fair.
I hope that Terry Godard puts Jan Brewer in her place....the unemployment line.
I dispise Andrew Thomas and I am severely disappointed that the Arpaio malitia was able to rig that vote.
Look up John Huppenthal on YouTube. He got POWNED by a teenage interviewer and walked out.
Welcome to election year. I can only hope that AZ Republic and the New Times don't back off.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Co-Worker Awesomeness
Co-Workers discussing one of them going to Red Square and having lunch, because is is just that cool. Anyway, during the topic this transpired:
Dunce: Lenin? Lenin is buried in Russia? John Lennon?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Reply: Damn, you've been Yoko'd, son.
Dunce: Lenin? Lenin is buried in Russia? John Lennon?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Bill Murray
Tomorrow marks two milestones in the comedian’s life: His 60th birthday, and the 40th anniversary of his arrest for marijuana trafficking.
On September 21, 1970, Murray celebrated his 20th birthday by getting arrested at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport. As reported by the Chicago Tribune, Murray was waiting to board a plane to Denver when he “jokingly told another passenger that he was carrying two bombs in his luggage.”
Murray’s comment was apparently overheard by a ticket agent who, missing the humor, summoned federal agents. While a subsequent search of Murray’s luggage did not turn up any explosive devices, United States marshals instead found five bricks of marijuana. The pot totaled ten pounds and was valued at $20,000.
Damn Dude, Damn!
List of how not getting caught:
Don't smoke and drive down Las Vegas Blvd, high end car, over speed limit, where weed is major offense. Don't deny the purse is yours, when you tweet pic'd it.
Don't let the cop open your purse when you are not the one doing the soberity test....Paris, let's talk.
Don't drive down a major street smoking reefer in the drivers seat, Mischa Barton/Matt LaBlanc
Don't take pictures of your kid with your bong.....or video of you getting you kid baked, YouTube is not your friend.
Most importantly, do NOT ever joke about bombs at Federal buildings. I know the temptation is there, like yelling Not IT, in a tag game, but for the love of god, if you are carrying Felony possesion amounts of weed through the Federal building, think twice before saying it.
The follow are selected by Google I think they fit.
Compromising Positions
Band of Joy
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
Monday, September 20, 2010
Betty White is Flexible
"She's really old. I think of her as an old friend. I mean an old friend. But listen, she's got moves you wouldn't believe. She’s totally flexible in the hip area. Her arms are stiff, but the hips? Totally flexible."
- William Shatner to the new issue of Playboy magazine, on Betty White
This is like the first time you imagine or god forbid see your parents naked. Thankfully I was adopted along with the other 9 brothers and sisters, and my real parents are rich and leaving me an inheritance. That is how I deal with thinking of my mom on top.....ew ew ew...
- William Shatner to the new issue of Playboy magazine, on Betty White
This is like the first time you imagine or god forbid see your parents naked. Thankfully I was adopted along with the other 9 brothers and sisters, and my real parents are rich and leaving me an inheritance. That is how I deal with thinking of my mom on top.....ew ew ew...
Why Educating Women Works
Giving young women an education resulted in saving the lives of more than four million children worldwide in 2009, according to a new study published Friday.
By using statistical models, the researchers found that for every extra year of education women had, the death rate for children under 5 dropped by almost 10 percent. They estimated that 4.2 million fewer children died in 2009 than in 1970 because women of child-bearing age in developing countries were more educated. In 1970, women in developing countries ages 18 to 44 had attended about two years of school. In 2009, it was about seven years.
The study was paid for by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and was published Friday in the London-based medical publication Lancet.
Educated women tend to use health services more and often make better choices on hygiene, nutrition and parenting.
Wish more would follow this lead. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/17/world/europe/17london.html?_r=1
By using statistical models, the researchers found that for every extra year of education women had, the death rate for children under 5 dropped by almost 10 percent. They estimated that 4.2 million fewer children died in 2009 than in 1970 because women of child-bearing age in developing countries were more educated. In 1970, women in developing countries ages 18 to 44 had attended about two years of school. In 2009, it was about seven years.
The study was paid for by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and was published Friday in the London-based medical publication Lancet.
Educated women tend to use health services more and often make better choices on hygiene, nutrition and parenting.
Wish more would follow this lead. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/17/world/europe/17london.html?_r=1
Friday, September 17, 2010
Goat Drive-by shooting
The shooting happened Sunday evening and killed Maria, a Nigerian dwarf goat who lived with two other goats and other animals at the home. Someone in a blue-green minivan drove up to the fenced yard where the goats are kept and fired three shots from a small-caliber pistol, hitting the animal once in the abdomen and once through a nasal passage.
Maria's owners, one of whom is an emergency medical technician, tried for more than an hour to care for the dying goat.
"The fact that this was a goat getting killed is bad enough," Santa Fe Police Chief Aric Wheeler said. "But this is also a drive-by shooting of a home in the middle of the city. That's a major concern for us."
Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2010/09/16/20100916new-mexico-drive-by-goat-killing.html#ixzz0zozjZuBR
Jan Brewer Sucks like Arpaio
Brewer, who supported the 1-cent-per-dollar sales-tax increase earlier this year, said she has ruled out additional tax hikes. That means steep cuts will be needed to close the budget deficit. Brewer said education, the Department of Health Services and the Department of Economic Security all are likely to see significant reductions next year. Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2010/09/17/20100917jan-brewer-terry-goddard-arizona-budget-deficit.html#ixzz0zolzeBeq
Any new cuts would come on top of $2.2 billion in spending reductions made since Brewer became governor in January 2009. The state has cut health care for needy families, shuttered some state parks and motor-vehicles branches and laid off hundreds of workers.
I hope you lose to Goddard, Ms. Brewer. The most efficent way to turn any society around is through education. You cut those. You also underminded maternal health, being a woman you should be ashamed of yourself. Goddard, for all his flaws, has a record of helping women and children. You weren't there for your son...you aren't there for Arizona.
Jan Brewer's Criminally Insane Son and His Mysteriously Sealed File: Ronald Brewer, 46, is not just mentally ill. He was deemed criminally insane in 1990, following a July 1989 arrest and subsequent indictment for the sexual assault and kidnapping of a Phoenix woman. According to a Phoenix Police Department report dated July 29, 1989, Brewer, then an unemployed 25-year-old, forced his way into a woman's apartment on West Indian School Road and threatened to hurt her "real bad" if she didn't engage in sexual acts, including performing fellatio.
According to a police interview with the victim, the entire ordeal lasted "approximately 20 minutes. During the assault, she feared for her life and thought the suspect was going to kill her if she did not cooperate."
Those details are not available for public inspection at county Superior Court -- even though in a typical criminal case, they probably would be. On January 9, 2009, Superior Court Judge Pendleton Gaines sealed the entire case file at the request of Ronald Brewer's attorney.
On December 1, 2008, President-Elect Barack Obama nominated then-Governor Janet Napolitano to be the head of Homeland Security. Her successor? Secretary of State Jan Brewer. Brewer assumed office as governor on January 21.
http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2010/09/jan_brewers_criminally_insane.php
The timing is curious. (Odd don't you think?)
Also: Last year -- even as state budget cuts were affecting tens of thousands of Arizonans -- ground was broken on a new building to house the forensics unit at the Arizona State Hospital. Governor Brewer reportedly was not in attendance on the grounds of the state hospital where her son is housed, but a member of her staff spoke, sources tell New Times. (That is some realy maternal love right there, don't you think?)
Any new cuts would come on top of $2.2 billion in spending reductions made since Brewer became governor in January 2009. The state has cut health care for needy families, shuttered some state parks and motor-vehicles branches and laid off hundreds of workers.
I hope you lose to Goddard, Ms. Brewer. The most efficent way to turn any society around is through education. You cut those. You also underminded maternal health, being a woman you should be ashamed of yourself. Goddard, for all his flaws, has a record of helping women and children. You weren't there for your son...you aren't there for Arizona.
Jan Brewer's Criminally Insane Son and His Mysteriously Sealed File: Ronald Brewer, 46, is not just mentally ill. He was deemed criminally insane in 1990, following a July 1989 arrest and subsequent indictment for the sexual assault and kidnapping of a Phoenix woman. According to a Phoenix Police Department report dated July 29, 1989, Brewer, then an unemployed 25-year-old, forced his way into a woman's apartment on West Indian School Road and threatened to hurt her "real bad" if she didn't engage in sexual acts, including performing fellatio.
According to a police interview with the victim, the entire ordeal lasted "approximately 20 minutes. During the assault, she feared for her life and thought the suspect was going to kill her if she did not cooperate."
Those details are not available for public inspection at county Superior Court -- even though in a typical criminal case, they probably would be. On January 9, 2009, Superior Court Judge Pendleton Gaines sealed the entire case file at the request of Ronald Brewer's attorney.
On December 1, 2008, President-Elect Barack Obama nominated then-Governor Janet Napolitano to be the head of Homeland Security. Her successor? Secretary of State Jan Brewer. Brewer assumed office as governor on January 21.
http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2010/09/jan_brewers_criminally_insane.php
The timing is curious. (Odd don't you think?)
Also: Last year -- even as state budget cuts were affecting tens of thousands of Arizonans -- ground was broken on a new building to house the forensics unit at the Arizona State Hospital. Governor Brewer reportedly was not in attendance on the grounds of the state hospital where her son is housed, but a member of her staff spoke, sources tell New Times. (That is some realy maternal love right there, don't you think?)
Jan Brewer sucks too.
Jan Brewer's career shaped by son's mental illness
Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/election/azelections/articles/2010/09/14/20100914jan-brewer-son-mental-illness.html#ixzz0zoZ97PVA
(In my best impersonation, yea it is awesome, just like her too) ((no really, spot on performance))
I, Jane Brewer, officially am desperate. I am disheartened to hear I will be the most sought after Halloween mask this year. The carnary yellow lady sport coats are flying out of Savers as we speak. Yes, I did get mine at Savers. So, I give you my poor helpless troubled sad pathetic mentally ill son as a sacrifice to the political Gods of Arizona. I know that I have never had a successful run for Govenor and the fact that I got the job is a complete fluke, but don't pay attention to the fact I am just running for office. Instead focus on the border, oh wait, that is kinda blowing up in my face. Shit. Ok, how about this, pay attention to Sheriff Joe, he is so good and honest....oh shit, he's getting investigated. Crap, what the hell am I going to do now? Do we have any midgets with AIDS that I can tote out? What about one of those Maury Povich old little kids? Hey I know, let's go after those bastard FLDS in Colorado City? Damn, Texas took that. Fuck, I am so going to lose. Can you help me with my resume?
Sheriff Joe Arpaio Sucks
I will say what AZ Central can't because of "journalistic integrity".
We hate you Sheriff Joe and everyone has you in their sights.
You are a big cock locked in a small hen house and the farmer forgot to feed the chickens.
They are going to peck at you until you most likely have a heart attack.
BTW, what ARE you up to now in WOW, are you a full Goblin? You know, working in the tech field as I do, you really do start to resemble your avatar.
http://www.azcentral.com/news/election/azelections/articles/2010/09/17/20100917joe-arpaio-aides-administrative-leave-for-misconduct.html
"The 63-page memo, which alleges widespread wrongdoing by Chief Deputy David Hendershott and others."
The memorandum, authored by Deputy Chief Frank Munnell, describes an oppressive work environment in which Hendershott is alleged to have threatened and retaliated against subordinates who questioned him and browbeat others into refusing to cooperate with federal and state investigations into the Sheriff's Office. Hendershott is the office's second-in-command and runs the sheriff's day-to-day operations.
Munnell asked Arpaio to place Hendershott, Deputy Chief Larry Black and Capt. Joel Fox on administrative leave pending an independent investigation by the Arizona Department of Public Safety. Black and Fox were placed on leave with pay Thursday. Hendershott remains on medical leave and is expected to return in several weeks. Rather than involve the DPS, Arpaio sent the memo to Babeu, a political ally, for review.
Munnell, one of a group of high-ranking officers subordinate to Hendershott, on Thursday spoke briefly about his memo, telling The Arizona Republic he was pleased with Arpaio's decision. (Ofcourse, honey, you found a scapegoat) "I believe a fair and appropriate and impartial investigation will take place, and I'm going to let it take its course," Munnell said. He declined to comment further. (You know about it and it wasn't until you ass was in the fire that you threw the goats in the fire. Don't you just love that these are supposed to be the people enforcing the rules?)
Babeu will determine the seriousness of the allegations before meeting with Arpaio. He will brief Arpaio on the direction the investigation could take, said Tim Gaffney, Babeu's spokesman.
Hendershott makes $165,000 a year, which does not include retirement earnings. Fox makes $103,000 and Black $80,000.
How much does Joe make? Between his wife having the pink clothes line and the son having the plastic spork contract, how much money is Maricopa County, Arizona, and frankly the USA, giving this slick bastard. (Does he know his father? I would say he was raised by wolves but they are minorities and wolves are smarter than that.)
Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/election/azelections/articles/2010/09/17/20100917joe-arpaio-aides-administrative-leave-for-misconduct.html#ixzz0zoNS73MZ
We hate you Sheriff Joe and everyone has you in their sights.
You are a big cock locked in a small hen house and the farmer forgot to feed the chickens.
They are going to peck at you until you most likely have a heart attack.
BTW, what ARE you up to now in WOW, are you a full Goblin? You know, working in the tech field as I do, you really do start to resemble your avatar.
http://www.azcentral.com/news/election/azelections/articles/2010/09/17/20100917joe-arpaio-aides-administrative-leave-for-misconduct.html
"The 63-page memo, which alleges widespread wrongdoing by Chief Deputy David Hendershott and others."
The memorandum, authored by Deputy Chief Frank Munnell, describes an oppressive work environment in which Hendershott is alleged to have threatened and retaliated against subordinates who questioned him and browbeat others into refusing to cooperate with federal and state investigations into the Sheriff's Office. Hendershott is the office's second-in-command and runs the sheriff's day-to-day operations.
Munnell asked Arpaio to place Hendershott, Deputy Chief Larry Black and Capt. Joel Fox on administrative leave pending an independent investigation by the Arizona Department of Public Safety. Black and Fox were placed on leave with pay Thursday. Hendershott remains on medical leave and is expected to return in several weeks. Rather than involve the DPS, Arpaio sent the memo to Babeu, a political ally, for review.
Munnell, one of a group of high-ranking officers subordinate to Hendershott, on Thursday spoke briefly about his memo, telling The Arizona Republic he was pleased with Arpaio's decision. (Ofcourse, honey, you found a scapegoat) "I believe a fair and appropriate and impartial investigation will take place, and I'm going to let it take its course," Munnell said. He declined to comment further. (You know about it and it wasn't until you ass was in the fire that you threw the goats in the fire. Don't you just love that these are supposed to be the people enforcing the rules?)
Babeu will determine the seriousness of the allegations before meeting with Arpaio. He will brief Arpaio on the direction the investigation could take, said Tim Gaffney, Babeu's spokesman.
Hendershott makes $165,000 a year, which does not include retirement earnings. Fox makes $103,000 and Black $80,000.
How much does Joe make? Between his wife having the pink clothes line and the son having the plastic spork contract, how much money is Maricopa County, Arizona, and frankly the USA, giving this slick bastard. (Does he know his father? I would say he was raised by wolves but they are minorities and wolves are smarter than that.)
Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/election/azelections/articles/2010/09/17/20100917joe-arpaio-aides-administrative-leave-for-misconduct.html#ixzz0zoNS73MZ
Witnesses Say Cops Make Rape Cases Go Away | Womens eNews
Witnesses Say Cops Make Rape Cases Go Away Womens eNews
(WOMENSENEWS)--Sarah Reedy was working at a Gulf Station in Cranberry, Pa., in 2004 when a man came into the store and held the 19-year-old at gunpoint. After robbing the register, he held the gun to her temple and forced her to give him oral sex. She immediately called 911. Detective Frank Evanson didn't believe her story.
Instead, he accused her of stealing the money herself. Police arrested her six months later for theft, despite several rape cases mirroring her own. She was in jail for five days before being released on bail, all while four months pregnant. Her long road came to an end when her attacker, a serial rapist, was caught and confessed to the assault.
Ok, so I have a Criminal Justice degree or two. This makes me sick. Anytime there is an question of rape in a case, there should be a trained officer that questions the victim. These people should be considered victims until there is proof otherwise. Like the acid attack victim fessin' up that she did it herself. She may have by the Arizona Acid Case was and is real. I wish I was a billionaire.
http://www.mynorthwest.com/category/local_news_articles/20100917/Arizona-acid-attack-victim-responds-to-fake/
Oh, I have a story to add. The Phoenix Police department, a few years back, arrested a woman 6 months pregnant with twins. They arrested her for prescription fraud, perc's no less, and threw her in jail for a week. Due to the stress she lost the babies. Upon researching the issue, the police department found they made a mistake that ended up costing them over $7 million dollars plus. The pharmacist was putting the fraud scripts through on her name when she went in for prenatal vitamins. Way to go! Side note: my friend was able to have a healthy baby boy about a year later but nothing could replace the twins.
(WOMENSENEWS)--Sarah Reedy was working at a Gulf Station in Cranberry, Pa., in 2004 when a man came into the store and held the 19-year-old at gunpoint. After robbing the register, he held the gun to her temple and forced her to give him oral sex. She immediately called 911. Detective Frank Evanson didn't believe her story.
Instead, he accused her of stealing the money herself. Police arrested her six months later for theft, despite several rape cases mirroring her own. She was in jail for five days before being released on bail, all while four months pregnant. Her long road came to an end when her attacker, a serial rapist, was caught and confessed to the assault.
Ok, so I have a Criminal Justice degree or two. This makes me sick. Anytime there is an question of rape in a case, there should be a trained officer that questions the victim. These people should be considered victims until there is proof otherwise. Like the acid attack victim fessin' up that she did it herself. She may have by the Arizona Acid Case was and is real. I wish I was a billionaire.
http://www.mynorthwest.com/category/local_news_articles/20100917/Arizona-acid-attack-victim-responds-to-fake/
Oh, I have a story to add. The Phoenix Police department, a few years back, arrested a woman 6 months pregnant with twins. They arrested her for prescription fraud, perc's no less, and threw her in jail for a week. Due to the stress she lost the babies. Upon researching the issue, the police department found they made a mistake that ended up costing them over $7 million dollars plus. The pharmacist was putting the fraud scripts through on her name when she went in for prenatal vitamins. Way to go! Side note: my friend was able to have a healthy baby boy about a year later but nothing could replace the twins.
She's just being Miley!
A 12-year-old girl from Florida was listening to one of Cyrus´ songs when she started having epileptic seizures. Upon treatment, Dr. Paul R. Carney discovered the girl had problems with baritone-type sounds such as dog barking.
Carney relates the seizure by saying "It´s like abnormal feedback off a microphone." Sometimes the human brain can have "glitches" in the system and pitches like the ones in one of Cyrus´ songs can trigger them.
This is why your father shouldn't have made a deal with the Devil for Achy Breaky Hearty success. It also proves that Miley Cyrus is a demon and should be burned.
Burn the Witch!
Carney relates the seizure by saying "It´s like abnormal feedback off a microphone." Sometimes the human brain can have "glitches" in the system and pitches like the ones in one of Cyrus´ songs can trigger them.
This is why your father shouldn't have made a deal with the Devil for Achy Breaky Hearty success. It also proves that Miley Cyrus is a demon and should be burned.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Harley's Story
My name is Harley.
My old owner is a hag.
She wanted to be a hero and took me home from the Vet.
My first owner left me there.
The Hag took me to her home, put me in a side yard with no shade.
For five years, she barely fed me and I am way too skinny.
She didn't like to give me water either.
Thank DOG Scarlett found me.
I own this couch now.
She's my Bitch now.
Arizona Politics Dipshit Joe Arpaio
My mom told me a story, yeah I am sharing with you....In Michigan, there was a vote to raise the legal drinking age from 18 to 21, and it passed. After it passed the 18-21 y.o. idiots had the balls to bitch about it. You know what, they should have voted. Simple as that. Majority rules and back then (early 80's), there were many in that age range there. They hadn't fled the state yet.
So take this as a lesson you young whipper-snappers, vote Sheriff Joe Arpaio out of office. Saban, for all his flaws, won't embarrass us with Human Rights violations and media grandstanding.
BTW, If you are reading this Arpaio, I hope the Justice Department indicts you, you self-serving two faced corrupt pig and your little rat terrier Jack Harris too!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Syrian Women Reflect on Rare Political Victory | Womens eNews
Syrian Women Reflect on Rare Political Victory Womens eNews
DAMASCUS, Syria (WOMENSENEWS)--A year ago, this country was on the brink of
passing a revision of the personal status law that some feared would be the most devastating blow to women's rights in Syrian modern history.
"The only rights a woman (would have had) under this law is to food and shelter from her husband," Rodaina Haidar, a member of Syria Women's Observatory, a women's rights watchdog group based in Damascus, said in an interview in 2009, shortly after the bill stalled. "Like an animal, she needs her husband's permission to leave the house. If she wants to work, he can divorce her. He must even give her permission to visit her family under the proposed law."
But in an unusual show of organizational strength, women's rights groups here managed to turn it back.
A 99-page draft version of the law--marked urgent--began popping up in the e-mails of nongovernmental advocacy groups and women's rights activists all over Damascus.
Some of the opposition gathered strength online. A petition on Facebook, which is officially banned in Syria, garnered over 3,000 signatures. News of the opposition made it into dozens of newspapers, Web sites and radio stations throughout the Arab world.
By mid-July of 2009, the Ministry of Information announced that the law would be handed over to the Ministry of Justice, which put the revision on the shelf. No further efforts to revise the laws have been made since then.
DAMASCUS, Syria (WOMENSENEWS)--A year ago, this country was on the brink of
passing a revision of the personal status law that some feared would be the most devastating blow to women's rights in Syrian modern history.
"The only rights a woman (would have had) under this law is to food and shelter from her husband," Rodaina Haidar, a member of Syria Women's Observatory, a women's rights watchdog group based in Damascus, said in an interview in 2009, shortly after the bill stalled. "Like an animal, she needs her husband's permission to leave the house. If she wants to work, he can divorce her. He must even give her permission to visit her family under the proposed law."
But in an unusual show of organizational strength, women's rights groups here managed to turn it back.
A 99-page draft version of the law--marked urgent--began popping up in the e-mails of nongovernmental advocacy groups and women's rights activists all over Damascus.
Some of the opposition gathered strength online. A petition on Facebook, which is officially banned in Syria, garnered over 3,000 signatures. News of the opposition made it into dozens of newspapers, Web sites and radio stations throughout the Arab world.
By mid-July of 2009, the Ministry of Information announced that the law would be handed over to the Ministry of Justice, which put the revision on the shelf. No further efforts to revise the laws have been made since then.
The cost of the Drug war
Mexico is getting serious on drug dealers and the border so the USA can legalize weed. This is the price that we all are paying. Migrants dead, Elected officals murdered and 3000 National Gurad Troops troops on the Arizona border. It will be interesting to see what happens when the gangs and organized crime here loses that profit in the USA.
Gigli claims another victim
Deputies were met by the woman's husband who told them his wife had set fire to his boat, go-kart and Jacuzzi because of a dispute that began after he watched a movie that starred Jennifer Lopez. He explained that his wife was jealous of the actress and didn't want him watching the movie.
Taco Flavored Kisses...caused this.
Southpark, CO:
Stan: [he and Kyle are playing with a girl doll and a plastic car] So, we meet again, Jennifer Lopez.
Kyle: [as Jennifer Lopez] No, no, please! This time I swear I won't make any more albums or movies!
Stan: That's what you said last time, but obviously we must resort to more drastic measures. [pulls out a magnifying glass and uses sun rays to burn the doll]
Kyle: AHHHHH, IT BURNS, IT BURNS!
Stan: Scream for me, bitch!
Kyle: AHHH!
[the doll's face melts off]
Kyle and Stan: Whoa, awesome!
Taco Flavored Kisses...caused this.
Stan: [he and Kyle are playing with a girl doll and a plastic car] So, we meet again, Jennifer Lopez.
Kyle: [as Jennifer Lopez] No, no, please! This time I swear I won't make any more albums or movies!
Stan: That's what you said last time, but obviously we must resort to more drastic measures. [pulls out a magnifying glass and uses sun rays to burn the doll]
Kyle: AHHHHH, IT BURNS, IT BURNS!
Stan: Scream for me, bitch!
Kyle: AHHH!
[the doll's face melts off]
Kyle and Stan: Whoa, awesome!
Best Apology Ever
Montag's other half adds that he wants to handle their alleged split "with dignity." Pratt also tweeted, "I need to apologize to Heidi and my 11.5 fans. I'm an epic douche - and you deserve better."
I would love for any ex of mine to call himself an epic douche in public. Not that they are but it would definitely make me feel better.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Key Word Searches
Here are the current search words that are routing poeple to this blog.
Search Keywords
"bifocals"-admin
bi-focals
leah osborne raccoon
"jason hartley"
"ryan sewell" and stabbed
jessie lunderby
jessie lunderby august
leah osborne raccoon
manuel n pacheco
the gentler sex
First, I would like to say thank you to "the gentler sex" for making this possible. I understand that keywords are important so here are some of mine that I would like to add...
Sex with Goats
Sexting with Midgets
Midgets on fire
Yeah I said Midgets....."lawsuit"
Arizona Politics
Jane Hathaway
Paris Hiltons Steamy Sewers
Arizona Cardinals suck. (Like any fans actual read)
clear cache cookies idiot
spyware sucks and I need to stop surfing porn.
and the final keyword search I want to see on my list:
Donkey punching firefighting space astronauts with Crohn's Disease.
Search Keywords
"bifocals"-admin
bi-focals
leah osborne raccoon
"jason hartley"
"ryan sewell" and stabbed
jessie lunderby
jessie lunderby august
leah osborne raccoon
manuel n pacheco
the gentler sex
First, I would like to say thank you to "the gentler sex" for making this possible. I understand that keywords are important so here are some of mine that I would like to add...
Sex with Goats
Sexting with Midgets
Midgets on fire
Yeah I said Midgets....."lawsuit"
Arizona Politics
Jane Hathaway
Paris Hiltons Steamy Sewers
Arizona Cardinals suck. (Like any fans actual read)
clear cache cookies idiot
spyware sucks and I need to stop surfing porn.
and the final keyword search I want to see on my list:
Donkey punching firefighting space astronauts with Crohn's Disease.
Paris Hilton The Mule Years cont...
From Perez Hilton.com:
Apparently Joe asked Simkin to deliver a Camel cigarette box with cocaine and ecstasy to Paris Hilton during a photoshoot for Seventeen magazine. The token of Joe's appreciation was for her upcoming trip to Europe.
Simkin writes:
"I asked if she was flying private, and she said, 'No, commercial.' And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X. She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.
How large is her who-ha that she can cram that much up there? When do you remove it, on the plane, in that little bathroom? Can you image her clod hopper size 11's up in the air on retrieval? Ew. The true sewers of Paris.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
One night in Paris....the mule years.
The Chanel purse that Paris Hilton claims was “borrowed”
Paris Hilton’s defense/ excuse for having cocaine in her purse was that she borrowed the purse from a friend, at least that’s what she told police.
We knew this was a complete and total lie when she said it, but RadarOnline discovered proof that Paris Hilton OWNS the purse.
It’s quite funny really, Paris posted a Twitpic on July 15th, showing off her new, super expensive Chanel purse. She captioned the photo: “Love My New Chanel Purse I got Today.”
What an idiot? It is amazing to think that Lindsey Lohan is going to come out on top. Ew, i really didn't need that visual. I had to share.
Paris Hilton’s defense/ excuse for having cocaine in her purse was that she borrowed the purse from a friend, at least that’s what she told police.
We knew this was a complete and total lie when she said it, but RadarOnline discovered proof that Paris Hilton OWNS the purse.
It’s quite funny really, Paris posted a Twitpic on July 15th, showing off her new, super expensive Chanel purse. She captioned the photo: “Love My New Chanel Purse I got Today.”
What an idiot? It is amazing to think that Lindsey Lohan is going to come out on top. Ew, i really didn't need that visual. I had to share.
Some parents deserve to die.
Acton, Massachusetts (The Weekly Vice) - Christina Hancock, a 23-year-old Acton woman, was jailed and has pleaded not guilty to accusations that she beat her 13-month-old son to death, calling him "fat and lazy.".
According to the State Medical Examiner, an autopsy showed multiple contusions, lacerations, internal bleeding, hemorrhages on top of the baby’s head, bruises on his back, stomach, lung, colon, liver and thigh, abdominal bleeding and a cut lip.
Investigators say Kaydn also had a fractured arm and that Hancock allegedly delayed treatment for several days. The child was reportedly unable to crawl because of the prolonged delay of medical care for the baby's arm.
Hancock allegedly described her baby as "fat and lazy", according to police. Hancock also has a 2 year old daughter, another son which she gave up for adoption at 9 months, and is pregnant with a fourth child, police say.
Vaginas are not clown cars.
According to the State Medical Examiner, an autopsy showed multiple contusions, lacerations, internal bleeding, hemorrhages on top of the baby’s head, bruises on his back, stomach, lung, colon, liver and thigh, abdominal bleeding and a cut lip.
Investigators say Kaydn also had a fractured arm and that Hancock allegedly delayed treatment for several days. The child was reportedly unable to crawl because of the prolonged delay of medical care for the baby's arm.
Hancock allegedly described her baby as "fat and lazy", according to police. Hancock also has a 2 year old daughter, another son which she gave up for adoption at 9 months, and is pregnant with a fourth child, police say.
Vaginas are not clown cars.
I refuse to cut this bitch....
Can't top this write up:
September 02, 2010
Police Arrest Third Suspect, Accusing Butts Of Helping To Dispose Of Boob’s Body.... Wait, What?
Miranda Boob MySpaceKermit Butts FacebookCentre Hall, Pennsylvania (The Weekly Vice) -
Police Arrest Third Suspect, Accusing Butts Of Helping To Dispose Of Boob’s Body.... Wait, What?
Miranda Boob MySpaceKermit Butts FacebookCentre Hall, Pennsylvania (The Weekly Vice) -
Police have now arrested a third suspect in the case of Miranda Boob, who allegedly conspired with a lover to have her husband killed.Mirinda Boob, Ronald Heichel, and 26-year-old Kermit Butts were all jailed in connection to the murder of 29-year-old Samuel Boob.
According to Centre Hall Police, detectives began investigating Miranda Boob after her husband, Samuel Boob was discovered dead in his driveway August 23rd, fatally shot twice with a shotgun. Detectives believe Mrs. Boob was having an affair with Heichel, who was one of her husband's co-workers, and they allegedly planned the murder or Mr. Boob.
Investigators say Heichel was driven to the Boob's residence by Butts, who idly stood by and witnessed the slaying of Mr. Butts, then drove Heichel away from the scene of the crime.Heichel and Butts were captured after two concession stand workers at the Grange Fair reported to police that they had seen the suspects riding together in a pickup truck. The witnesses stated that Butts was "acting suspicious."
Investigators say Heichel offered Butts $5,000 in exchange for his help to dispose of the body. Numerous text messages were sent between Heichel and Boob regarding the murder plot, with statements such as "Hopefully he'll be six feet under," and "Take him out," as well as messages about whether a gun had bullets in it.
Mrs. Boob was booked into jail on charges of first-degree murder and solicitation.Heichel was also booked into jail on first-degree murder charges.Kermit Butts was booked into jail on charges of felony aggravated assault and hindering apprehension or prosecution.A trial for Mrs. Boob and Heichel was set for October, but is expected to be delayed.
Mandi MilenkoThe Weekly Vice
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
obits
MYERS, M M -Her first husband preceded her in death. MMM would later meet and marry Mr. M Myers. He preceded her in death. She enjoyed spending time with her family, cooking, her animals and helping others.
I think she was just collecting names and husbands. What did she cook, was that why they died? The paper made her a serial killer. Here is what I want mine to say:
She was here,
She was there,
She had a nice derriere.
She liked to skate
And Master....
Well, you get the picture.
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