Good news! Thighs don't hurt anymore but now I am thinking I should......work out. I have this old Suzanne Summers Thigh Master hanging in a tree in the back yard. I don't know why it is there but that is where Grandma and Grandpa Sausage put the invert torture equipment.

I am at a loss though. My VCR just tanked it and I won't have suitable accompaniment to go with my Lycra exercise pants and matching sweet bands.

I could also try to work out with the dozen or so ten pound weights that are buried in the rocks. That's right, just buried. I guess it was too much work to throw it out during bulk trash pickup.

Okay, so I grab the rope that is mysteriously attached to one of the smaller orange trees (used to keep Grandma in line no doubt). I will attach all the weights evenly on the Crotch Commando and ......hurt myself.

Ok, so step one. Beer.

Step two?

Step three, ripped Rocky 2 style.